A Search for a Name Index

Overview

Our hero is feeling trapped. He is at several crisis points that are brewing together at the same time. Everything was fine as a young lad but then he started meeting all sorts of people . Many people behaved in ways that he didn't think made sense. He tried to go along with it, because that's what everybody else was doing, and they seemed OK with it, but he felt that something wasn't quite right. Other's started to make him doubt and question his own values and moral compass. Early on he observed that there were many different sets of people. Each set had certain actions, ceratin thoughts, and particular mannerisms that were tolerated within their set. It appeared very important to be accepted by certain sets of people, even if it meant falsifying your personal integrity and virtue. He noticed that most people just stayed within one set. He wanted to be everyone's friend, but it was very confusing to mix between sets because the sets had conflicting attitudes and outlooks. Our protagonist became so preoccupied on fitting in with various factions that he eventually lost his true personality. He pictured himself as the ideal young man, (which in retrospect he could have become), but when forced to look at what he had actually become, he sank into the depths of depression and reclusiveness. At this point he couldn't bear the ennui of life any longer and cast himself to the wind. He had only a blind trust that he would regain his legacy, that somehow he would be shown the way and restored to his true potential.

"Introduction"

Our outcast realizes that his fragile grasp on life is splintering into several parts without an anchor to hold him steady. His only saving grace is the narrator, which is the voice which parades around in his head. He can't stand the facade that he has developed in order to deal with all the different situations that life has to offer. He realizes that he can't go on like this and just stops living all together. Everyone wants him to go to college, he is definitely smart enough, but being smart can not solve his problems. The narrator is the only link to his soul, which he believe is the only path to salvation. On top of all this, he also endures a stinging guilt for not appreciating the wonderful life his parents' generation has provided for him.

"Sidhartha Revisited"

Finally our troubled youth works up enough courage to leave. He casts his lot to the fates. He fancifully likens himself to Sidhartha, who gave up the riches and security of his fathers castle to pursue an ethereal calling. His father didn't want him to go because danger lurked at every door outside the comforting walls of the palace. But no matter, he then envisions himself as the pubescent Iroquois brave, who upon entering manhood, left the tribe and went alone into the wilderness, He couldn't return until he had a spiritual experience, and whatever that experience was he would use that to come up with his new name. That's why the Indians have names that mean things. I don't know why Americans don't do that. I guess we give everybody Social Security numbers instead.

"In My Father's House"

Our pilgrim departs on his wayward journey. He meets a sundry list of characters from different walks of life. After spending a night in a dingy hotel, a chance meeting (or was it?) takes him to a trailer park where he finally meets his spiritual destiny. An unlikely place I'm sure, but it's almost this quirkiness that gives it authenticity. Even though he feels a certain gratitude to his spiritual benefactors, he knows that he must leave to pursue a different- even if more dangerous path.

"In the Realm of Human Beings"

Our devotee now embarks afresh, with a new purpose in life. He is anxious to tell others but soon finds that despite his new found spirituality, the rest of the world pretty much remains unchanged. His friends and acquaintances are skeptical and/or too busy with their own problems to pay him much heed. He soon finds his own mettle tested as returns home to find another adventure awaiting for him in the mail.

"Denouement and Soft Sell Conclusion"

The narrator's search for a name is over. He is now the "Man who rode the Flying White Horse", at least in his own mind. Will he go on to greater things? Or will he succumb to the temptations of the world? Amazon.com Kindle Books

A Spritual Journey